:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
