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he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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