yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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