Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
