Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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