Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
