i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Vodka?
Forever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
