wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
