Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
