It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
