when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
