he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
