do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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