Pappa wants mamma naked
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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