arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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