She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
