Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
