if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
