he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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