Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
