so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
