while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
