theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
