Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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