i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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