Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
