turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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