Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
