the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
