need another drink. this is the easiest way
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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