when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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