nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I touched a dick in church today
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
