he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
