Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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