my mouth tastes like poor choices
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
