Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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