the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
