I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
