We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We are all done wearing pants today
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
