OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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