we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
