I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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