Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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