I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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