I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
