Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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