Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
