I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
