omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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