Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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