Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
