mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
